I cried today, thinking about my beautiful daughter growing up, potentially, without a father figure. It cuts deeper than my own fate, my worry is despite what I can do between now and any potential early demise that there may be things life throws at her that none of us could prepare for and she’ll benefit from having me about and not just my legacy.
I’m currently in a limbo where I don’t know if I’m dying or just a moaning git. It means I’m having to consider all potential outcomes and look at all the ways I can push ahead to get the uncertainty resolved as soon as possible.
In my line of work we test the riskiest assumptions first, in the NHS they test the most likely. It’s a process that has seen the neglect of millions and as a consequence die. When I don’t do my job right, people’s lives are affected but holistically not in any dramatic way. They’ll find another way to solve their problem. In the NHS people die, and it could all be avoided if they tested the riskiest assumptions first instead of hedging their bets. That’s what they do, they HEDGE THEIR BETS ON YOUR LIFE. I thought the bankers were reckless but this approach to treatment at the NHS is the disgusting and short term. Sure they save money up front, but the cost long term is surely damming.
It’s a shame the NHS isn’t LEAN, they would invalidate the riskiest assumptions first and that would stop most missed diagnosis and give patients total piece of mind reducing stress.